October 01, 2018

Good Morning Groanies,

I went to my doctor the other night for my yearly physical exam. It was fairly routine. I did do this new test. Well, it was new to me. The test determines the age of your lungs. I'm 38 years old and, according to medical science, my lungs should be relatively similar in age... well, not exactly.

My lungs are 82 years old. My lungs are so old that they told my ribs to get off of their lawn.

My doctor and I were shocked by this discovery. He asked me if I smoke and I said that I never have, but I love Applewood Smoked Bacon and I love watching Smokey and the Bandit. No tobacco, though.

I wonder if this was because of that house fire thing.

Hopefully, things will clear up in time. Or maybe that machine I got the test results on has Dyslexia.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- What Are These Numbers? --*

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny, what are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?"

Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"

*-- Lawyers Are So Materialistic --*

A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. "Officer, look what they've done to my Beemer!" he whined.

"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!"

"Oh my god", replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, "Where's my Rolex!"

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

A: It got mixed reviews. The food is great, the there's no atmosphere.


Q: What do you do with an elephant with three balls?

A: Walk him and pitch to the giraffe.

***
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