Subscibe to DEAL OF THE DAY

THE DAILY GROANER - September 5, 2018

Good Morning Groanies,

I was just thinking...

Why are sleeveless t-shirts still identified as t-shirts?

Why don't people smoke cigarettes with their nostrils rather than their mouths? Cigarettes were made to be stuck up one's nose.

Why does Winnie the Pooh wear a shirt, but he doesn't wear pants?

Why is the plural for cheese "cheeses" and not "choose"? You know, kind of like geese and goose.

Why do chairs have armrests and no leg-rests? Your legs are working a lot more than those arms you got. You know, walking you around, holding you up, fighting gravity. Legs got arms beat. What are arms doing? Swinging or at rest, hands in your pockets, while your legs are moving and working. It's not fair.

These are a just a few of the things that I was thinking about while I wait for my arm to be freed from the soda machine.

Groaningly yours,

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- A Pig Walks Into A Bar... --*

A pig walks into a bar. He orders a drink and downs it. He gets a refill and he drinks it just as fast, this goes on for a while.

The bartender couldn't help himself but ask. "How can you drink all that without having to go to the bathroom?"

The pig responds, "Well I'm the pig that goes wee wee all the way home!"

*-- All Dogs Go to Heaven --*

Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog had recently died.

"You know, it's not your fault that the dog died. He's probably up in heaven right now, having a grand old time with God."

Susie, still crying, said, "What would God want with a dead dog?"

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: How do you make a strawberry shake?

A: Put it in the freezer!

Q: How much does a pirate pay for his earrings?

A: A buccaneer!


Missed an Issue? Visit the Daily Groaner Archives