Subscibe to DEAL OF THE DAY

THE DAILY GROANER - July 11, 2018

Good Morning Groanies,

How about some reader comments? Well, let's do it anyway.

I wonder about you some times. You may say that most people wonder about you all of the times but I digress. I enjoy reading the Groaner and Clean Jokes. They brighten my day and give me some valuable fuel to contribute to humorous conversations with friends. Here is the source of my wonderment: Seven times in your list of things about the Fourth today involve the consumption of alcohol. Does your life orbit alcohol and every celebration must include it? If so how do you function? I wonder. I have never imbibed in alcohol. I have never had a day so glorious or so glum where I thought that the addition of alcohol in the mix would make it better. Hmmmm --Larry

[Larry, thanks so much for reading the Groaner and letting its humor enrich your day. We should get a drink sometime.]

How about squricle and quark? --Lisa
[I hope that those are suggestions for funny sounding words and not side effects from some new medication that's being advertised on the TV.]

Thanks for reading! And I am very appreciative of any and all comments, questions, joke, and more... Bring 'em on!

Groaningly yours,

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- Good News, Bad News --*

Lawyer: I have some good news and some bad news.

Client: Well, give me the bad news first.

Lawyer: The bad news is that the DNA tests showed that it was your blood they found all over the crime scene.

Client: Oh no! I'm ruined! What's the good news?

Lawyer: The good news is your cholesterol is down to 130!

*-- Random Humor --*

Polynesia: memory loss in parrots.

Oh Lord, give me patience...and GIVE IT TO ME NOW!

A good pun is its own reword.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!

To err is human, to moo bovine.

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What do stylish frogs wear?

A: Jumpsuits.

Q: What bird is the best weightlifter?

A: The crane.


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