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THE DAILY GROANER - April 9, 2018

Good Morning Groanies,

On Easter morning, Stacy and I surprised our boys with a pair of chicks. And by chicks I mean large plush bright yellow baby ducks. You know, stuffed animals.

Jack and Sean love stuffed animals, especially if they are as big as they are and are durable enough to help them perform various karate and wrestling moves that they themselves have developed over the last few months. That's dedication.

But, what they love more than stuffed animals is naming them. Jack and Sean take pride in providing their snuggle friends with a memorable moniker that fits the look and persona of that particular critter.

So these identical baby ducks have been named. They are now know as - Toots and Butt. Honest. That's what they picked.

I'd like to think it's their spin on the whole "Chicken or the Egg" debate.

Groaningly yours,

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*-- You Were Adopted! --*

Father: "Son, you were adopted."

Son: "What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!"

Father: "We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes."

*-- Sleeping Problem --*

Doctor: "I've found a great new drug that can help you with your sleeping problem."

Patient: "Great, how often do I have to take it?"

Doctor: "Every two hours."

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: Why did the belt go to jail?

A: It held up a pair of pants.

Q: How do hair stylists speed up their job?

A: They take short cuts!


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