Subscibe to DEAL OF THE DAY

THE DAILY GROANER - August 6, 2018

Good Morning Groanies,

I just got back from my vacation and you know what I need right now? Another vacation!

I am beat like Matthew McConaughey's bongos on 4/20. I could use a little time to recover, but not The Daily Groaner! Humor doesn't take a holiday. Please enjoy the jokes and I'll catch up on Wednesday.

Groaningly yours,

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- Still A Virgin --*

Mario is planning to marry and asks his family doctor how he could tell if his bride-to-be is still a virgin.

His doctor says, "Mario, all the Italian men I know use three things for what we call a "Do-It-Yourself Virginity Test Kit"... a small can of red paint, a small can of blue paint and a shovel."

Mario asks, "So, what do I do with these things, doc?

The doctor replies, "Before you climb into bed on your wedding night, you paint one of your balls red and the other ball blue.

If she says, "That's the strangest pair of balls I've ever seen!", hit her with the shovel.

*-- What's in the Bag? --*

A salesman is driving toward home when he sees an guy thumbing for a ride on the side of the road. As the trip had been long and quiet, he stops the car and the hitchhiker gets in.

After a bit of small talk, the hitchhiker notices a brown bag on the front seat. "What's in the bag?", the hitchhiker asks the driver.

The driver says, "It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my wife."

The hitchhiker is silent for a moment then says, "Good trade."

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: Why did the teacher write the lesson on the window?

A: He wanted it to be clear.

Q: What squeaks as it solves crimes?

A: Miami mice!


Missed an Issue? Visit the Daily Groaner Archives