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THE DAILY GROANER - March 28, 2018

Good Morning Groanies,

So if you may recall, in January I had a fire in my house. Not in a cozy fireplace kinda way. It was more of a recalled de-humidifier from a sketchy manufacturer decided to pretend it was the Human Torch and "Flame On!" kinda way.

Now it's March, and to keep the household disaster train a rollin' we had water rain down from the ceiling from a disconnected tub drain. I KNOW!!! What next?!

First, it was fire. Now, it's water. I think the earthquake is scheduled for May. Oh, and the locusts are due over the 4th of July weekend! I can't wait to see what's in store this fall. I got to get a hard hat and start wearing a cup!

Oh, and thanks again for the positive feedback about our "Classic" look over here. It's good to hear from all of you. And it's good to be back.

Groaningly yours,

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- Guess What I Heard? --*

"Guess what I heard today?" a man says to his wife.

"What, hon?" she asks.

"The mailman has seduced every woman on our block but one."

"Huh," his wife says, "I bet it's that stuck-up Phyllis next-door."

*-- Think About It --*

Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk together and only one of them knows it.

A mobile home with a flat tire is a home.

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: Why did the scarecrow win a Nobel Peace Prize?

A: He was outstanding in his field!

Q: Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?

A: So he wouldn't wake the sleeping pills.


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