THE DAILY GROANER - March 6, 2017
Good Morning Groanies,
With all of the freaky warm weather we've been having lately, I decided to wear some shorts to the office. I hate to wear shorts because I don't really want to showcase my gams to the office or the general public. They're not my best feature (and this isn't my best column).
Well, after a few catcalls from TZ I felt much better about myself, but then Clean Laffs Joe spoke up. He told me, "The last time I saw legs like that they were in a bucket of chicken or maybe they were holding up a piano."
Hey, words hurt. Where are my pants?
P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives
Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve
*-- School is Swell --*
A high-school student came home from school seeming rather depressed.
"What's the matter, son," asked his mother.
"Aw, gee," said the boy, "It's my grades. They're all wet."
"What do you mean 'all wet?'"
"I mean," he replied, "below C-level."
*-- The Truth Ain't Pretty --*
A very homely person made an appointment with a psychiatrist. The homely person walked into the doctor's office and said, "Doctor, I'm so depressed and lonely. I don't have any friends, no one will come near me, and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?"
"I'm sure I can." the psychiatrist replied. "Just go over and lie face down on that couch."
*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested?
A: He was charged with battery.
Q: There are 2 cowboys in the kitchen. Which one is the real cowboy?
A: The one on the range.
Missed an Issue? Visit the Daily Groaner Archives