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THE DAILY GROANER - February 6, 2017

Good Morning Groanies,

I love coupons! I'm a fan of discounts. I'm quite fond of sales. The reason I bring this to your attention is I received a "20% Off" coupon in the mail the other day for my local drugstore. Does anyone out there, besides me, still use the term "drugstore"? Now back to the coupon.

As excited as I was about my potential purchases and the discount that would allow me a little more bang for my buck I made sure to read the fine print. As I read the fine print I noticed that their are several types of items that are forbidden from purchase with this wonderful coupon. Here's what it said:

This coupon excludes sale merchandise, discontinued merchandise, milk, bread, alcohol, gift cards, lottery, money orders, prescriptions, postage stamps, pre-paid cards, tobacco products, newspapers, and magazines.

Call me crazy, but that's just about everything that I would buy at this store. What do you go to the drugstore for? Milk, bread, alcohol, lottery tickets, prescriptions, newspapers, and magazines, right? What the hell else could I want that isn't significantly cheaper at some other store? I'm not buying adult diapers and hair gel, folks.

I like coupons, but let me get a decent deal on something that is worthwhile... like a new car... a big-screen TV, or a roller skating monkey!

Groaningly yours,

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- Scared of the Storm --*

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"

The mother smiled. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."

The little boy replied with a shaking voice, "The big sissy."

*-- Now That's Really Sick --*

An employee who had a terrible history for taking time off phoned in again one Monday morning: "I'm sorry, but I'll not be able to come in today as I'm too sick."

On hearing this his exasperated boss could barely conceal his anger and retorted in a rage: "Well, just how sick are you?"

"Well" the employee sighed, "I'm in bed with my sister!"

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What is the difference between erotic and kinky?

A: Erotic is using a feather... kinky is using the whole chicken!

Q: Who earns a living driving customers away?

A: A taxi driver.


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