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THE DAILY GROANER - January 30, 2017

Good Morning Groanies,

Here's a really funny joke that Stacy sent me. I hope you like it. I know I did.

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken woman swigging her drink, as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asks, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed. 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she started drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife. 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

The moral of this joke, if there is one: There really are two ways to look at everything. I think.

Groaningly yours,

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- Don't Mind Me... --*

Pregnant with my third child and experiencing morning sickness, I was resting on the living-room couch. Workmen were doing some minor repairs in the house. As one walked by, I explained, "Don't mind me. I'm in my first trimester."

"Oh," he said. "What's your major?"

*-- How Am I As A Lover? --*

Man: "Be honest, baby... How am I as a lover?"

Woman: "Honey, I would definitely say that you're warm."

Man: "Really?"

Woman: "Yes, my love, my hero, you're 'warm' as the dictionary would say!"

The man, pleased, went home and just for sake of it checked his dictionary, He read, "WARM: Not so hot."

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: Why was the gym wet?

A: Because the basketball players dribbled all over it!

Q: Why is sleeping a top-secret activity?

A: Because you are under cover!


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