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THE DAILY GROANER - January 25, 2017

Good Morning Groanies,

I was just thinking...

Why are sleeveless t-shirts still identified as t-shirts?

Is the opposite of a "newt" an "oldt"?

Why don't people smoke cigarettes with their nostrils rather than their mouths? Cigarettes were made to be stuck up one's nose. Stick 'em in your nose and you can still drink your beer.

Why does Winnie the Pooh wear a shirt, but he doesn't wear pants? That's most cartoon characters, isn't it?

Are dogs and trees the same since they both bark?

These are a just a few of the things that I think about while I wait for my arm to be freed from the soda machine.

Groaningly yours,

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- Two Elephants and the Naked Guy --*

Two Elephants meet a totally naked guy.

After a while one elephant says to the other: "I really don't get how he can feed himself with that thing!"

*-- Living More Than 100 Years --*

Patient: Doctor, how can I live longer than 100 years?

Doctor: Do you smoke?

Patient: No.

Doctor: Do you eat too much?

Patient: No.

Doctor: Do you go to bed late?

Patient: No.

Doctor: Do you have affairs with promiscuous women?

Patient: No.

Doctor: Then why would you want to live more than 100 years?

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What do you get when you cross-breed a cow and a shark?

A: I don't know, but I wouldn't enjoy milking it.

Q: What do politicians and diapers have in common?

A: Both should be changed regularly, and both for the same reason.


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