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THE DAILY GROANER - January 9, 2017

Good Morning Groanies,

I feel terrible. My head hurts, my throat is sore, and I think I'm running a fever. I think I may have one of those severe fevers unless it's totally normal for you to see Abe Lincoln making you waffles while dressed up as Carmen Miranda. That's normal, right?

I think I'm going to go lie down. Enjoy the jokes!

Groaningly yours,

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- Guess What I Heard? --*

"Guess what I heard today?" a man says to his wife.

"What, hon?" she asks.

"The mailman has seduced every woman on our block but one."

"Huh," his wife says, "I bet it's that stuck-up Phyllis next-door."

*-- Aren't You Hungry? --*

A rabbit and a lion come into a bar together and order martinis. The bartender puts out a bowl of peanuts, a bowl of popcorn, and a bowl of pretzels, which the rabbit begins eating. The lion just sips his martini.

"What's the matter?" asks the bartender of the lion. "Aren't you hungry?"

"Don't be silly," the rabbit answers. "If he were hungry, do you think I'd be sitting here?"

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What do you call a man with a car on his head?

A: Jack.

Q: How does the man in the moon get his hair cut?

A: Eclipse it.


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