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THE DAILY GROANER - November 30, 2016

Good Morning Groanies,

Tomorrow is my birthday! Okay, settle down. You're too much.

That's right. I'm going to be another year older. It's true. It's a good thing too because every year I not only get a little older, but I become wiser and more thankful and grateful.

Not to brag, but I've got a pretty good life. I have a loving wife, two wonderful kids, and a home that is the place where we were meant to be. And, as an added bonus, the Chicago Cubs won the World Series!

I think what I'm trying to say is good.

Groaningly yours,

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- Wishes Only --*

A blonde is walking down a street, thinking furiously about how people always think blondes are so dumb. While walking, she trips on a crack in the sidewalk and sees a magic lamp on the ground. Smiling, she picks it up and starts rubbing it.

After a few seconds of constant polishing, a genie finally pops out.

The genies says, "I shall grant you one wish, but only one."

The blonde replies, "I wish to be the smartest person in the world."

"I'm sorry, I grant only wishes, not miracles!"

*-- Rent-A-Boat --*

At a rent-a-boat company, the caller said into the microphone: "Boat 99, your hour is up, please head in."

An employee walks up to him and says: "We only have 75 boats, there is no boat 99, sir."

The caller then said into the microphone: "Boat 66, are you in trouble?"

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

A: News briefs.

Q: What did the one penny say to the other penny?

A: We make perfect cents.


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