Subscribe to THE DAILY GROANER
 
Subscribe to DEAL OF THE DAY
 


THE DAILY GROANER - November 23, 2016

Good Morning Groanies,


Man, was it cold outside this morning! It was so cold that I finally had to de-mothball my winter coat and throw it on to brave the elements.

The best part of putting on your coat for the first time since the last time is that you might find a surprise or too in your pockets. Sometimes you might find a pack of gum, a funny note, a receipt, a movie stub, who knows?

Today, I discovered a rather rotten surprised in my left jacket pocket. A rotten piece of fruit had been residing in my pocket for who knows how long. That's right...fruit! What it was doing there is beyond me. I don't remember putting fruit in there. I don't usually storage fruits, vegetables or any other assorted foods in my coat pockets, but it got in there some how, some way.

Oh, and it was so rotten that I couldn't tell exactly what kind of fruit it started out as...maybe an apple, an orange, a plum, a nectarine, possible a banana; your guess is as good as mine.

All I know is that it was rotten, maroon and it needed a shave. So gross! So before you put your winter coat on ask yourself this question, "What's in your pocket?"

Well, I can't wait to see what's hiding in my snow pants.

Groaningly yours,
Steve


P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: Why did the kid bring a skunk to school?

A: For "Show and Smell!"


Q: How do you make an egg roll?

A: Push it!



*-- New Celebrity Restaurant --*

A new celebrity restaurant chain is opening up nationwide. It is a partnership between Kareem Abdul Jabbar, Ryan Coffee, and Sugar Ray Leonard.

They're going to call it: "Coffee, with Kareem and Sugar."



*-- More Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What's a caterpillar's worst enemy?

A: A dogerpillar!


Q: What happened when the gardener accidentally sprayed his spice garden with herbicide instead of pesticide?

A: He ended up just killing thyme.

***

Missed an Issue? Visit the Daily Groaner Archives