THE DAILY GROANER - Wednesday, April 3rd 2013

Good Morning Groanies,

When I was giving my son a bath the other day I realized that I couldn't remember the last time I had taken a bath.

Every time Jack gets his bath he seems to be having so much fun playing and splashing - am I missing out? That got me thinking that I should start splish-splashing again and relive those happy tub-times of my youth.

So, I did it. And it was NOT pleasant! The faucet kept digging into my back, soap got in my eye, and I had a hell of a time trying to climb out of the tub. Plus, when I eventually got out I saw the water and... it looked like I was bootlegging in the '20s. GROSS!

I guess showers are the way for me... or my neighbor's pool. The chlorine really gives me a deep cleansing.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- My Goldfish Died --*
One day Timmy was in his back yard digging a hole. His neighbor, seeing him there, decided to investigate. "Whatcha doin?" he asked.

"My goldfish died and I'm burying him," Timmy replied.

"That's an awful big hole for a goldfish, ain't it?" asked the neighbor.

"That's because he's inside your cat!"


*-- What's Taking So Long? --*
A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity; looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long? Hit the blasted ball!"

The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot."

"Forget it, man - you don't stand a chance of hitting her from here!"


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What do you call a cow with only 2 right legs?

A: Lean beef!


Q: Why did the turtle cross the road?

A: To get to the shell station.

***
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