THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, May 23rd 2011

Good Morning Groanies,

Whenever someone calls you on the phone and then asks you what you're doing you more often than not answer, "Nothing". Why is that? Come on now, we are all guilty of this.

Why don't you just tell the truth? Say that you're just dancing by yourself while listening to ABBA's Greatest Hits. Say that you're currently going to the bathroom. Say that you're out of breath because you were just wrestling your neighbors dog naked. What's wrong with a little honesty?

If you aren't one for revealing the activity that you were engaged in when the phone rang, then just say, "You want to know what I'm doing? I'm talking to you, you goof." That's what I do.

Just remember, whenever you call someone you have a good chance that they may be holding a conversation with you in the buff...unless it's grandma...then it's a guarantee.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

Questions? Comments? Jokes? Email Steve

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+-- Use Your Imagination --+
A therapist told a woman to use some imagination while making love with her husband to spice things up.

She replied, "You mean like imagine that it's good?"


+-- It's Just A Car --+
A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.

"Officer, look what they've done to my Beemer!" he whined. "You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!"

"Oh my god", replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, "Where's my Rolex!"


+-- Q and A Quickies --+
Q: What is the noisiest game?

A: Tennis, you can't play it without raising a racket.


Q: What holds the sun up in the sky?

A: Sunbeams.

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