THE DAILY GROANER - Wednesday, July 11th 2012

Good Morning Groanies,

Why does it have to be so hot? I don't remember it ever being this hot last summer, do you? People that say that they'd rather be hot than cold are just plain nuts!

It's so hot that I'm starting to sweat while inside of buildings with air conditioning. It's so hot I'm sweating when I think about sweating. It's so hot my sweat sweats.

This heat is really starting to get to me. I'm feeling crabby, uncomfortable, tired, upset, uneasy, worrisome, angry, bewildered, befuddled, sticky, distracted, unicorn, beef, stapler, wedding ring, sloppy joe, hat trick, wing, butterscotch, biscuit, muffler, coffee, cheese-puppet, chalk-mask, mailbox, wizardry, bottlecap, nose-hair, Kenny Rogers, hickory, bacon, speed-bag, sandwich, webbing, puppy, boner, leg, Alf, tower, button...

What happened? This heat is really starting to get to me.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Who does the ocean date?

A: It goes out with the tide.


Q: What do you get if you cross two punsters with a hen?

A: Two comedians who lay eggs with a lot of bad yolks.


*-- The Name Game --*
In an age when everyone seems to be playing the name game of glorifying job titles, the man in charge of the meat department at a grocery store in Wisconsin deserves a round of applause.

On his weekly time card he describes his position as: Meat Head.


*-- More Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Why did the cross-eyed teacher lose his job?

A: Because he couldn't control his pupils.


Q: What did the boy say after his math teacher assigned four pages of homework.

A: Boy, do I have problems.

***
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