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THE DAILY GROANER - August 8, 2016

Good Morning Groanies,


We got to gabbing here at the office and, as usually, the topic was sex.

We were trying to come up with a few examples, around 10 or so, of some of the worst responses ever utter to the ultimate question, "Do you want to have sex?" As usual we went above and beyond and came up with a huge number, but for time here are twenty. Enjoy!

1. What, with you?
2. Why? What did I do?
3. Only if it's your birthday.
4. Oh, did hell freeze over?
5. I'm not drunk enough.
6. Again?
7. Trust me, in your case, practice will not make perfect.
8. Why? We just did it last month.
9. Do we have to take our clothes off?
10. Why? We're married.
11. We can't. The dogs will watch us.
12. Well, I do enjoy doing charity work.
13. Oh, can't we just be friends?
14. Well, if we do, what do I get out of it?
15. Can I bring a friend?
16. Do you really need me for that?
17. Sure, I've got a free minute.
18. Sure, I could use a laugh.
19. Please stop, you're embarrassing yourself.
20. Do what you need to do just don't wake me up?

How many of these have you heard?

Groaningly yours,
Steve


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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Gotta Light? --*

There are three guys in a boat with four cigarettes. They have no matches or anything and were trying to come up with a way to smoke their cigarettes.

"I got it!" said the one guy as he threw one of his cigarettes overboard.

"Why did you do that?" yelled his buddy.

To which he replied, "To make the boat a little lighter."



*-- Listen To This --*

Three buddies die in a car crash, and they go to heaven to an orientation.

They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?

The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."

The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."

The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say, "Look! He's moving!"



*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What do you get when you cross a wolf with a ceramicist?

A: A hairy potter.


Q: What does the gorilla call his girlfriend?

A: His prime mate.

***

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