THE DAILY GROANER - February 16, 2015

Good Morning Groanies,

Remember that it's important to show that special person in your life that you care. Show them that they mean everything to you. Show them that you love them with all your heart. Come on... where's the love?

I hope you had a Happy Valentine's Day! I hope that you spend it with that special someone... and if you didn't... well...

You probably experienced some form of head trauma, foul language, getting locked out of your place of residence, destruction of private property, arson, flu-like symptoms, finding the crotch cut out of every pair of pants you own, sudden credit card charges, the old "foot-in-the-ass", sleeping on the couch, vandalism, grand theft auto, jolts of volts via a stun gun, headache, nausea, choking and genital discomfort.

Hopefully it was a happy occasion for you and not an evening spent in the ER with several doctors trying to remove super glue from your buttcrack. Don't ask.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- What Do You Think It Means? --*
A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's Day. What do you think it means?"

"You'll know tonight." he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it--only to find a book entitled, "The Meaning of Dreams".


*-- Guess Who? --*
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.

His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, "I'm sending out one thousand Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"

"But why?" asks the man.

"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Why couldn't the orange cross the street?

A: It ran out of juice!


Q: Where do geologists go for good music?

A: To a rock concert!

***
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