THE DAILY GROANER - April 30, 2014

Good Morning Groanies,

I was stressed out last week. I was so stressed in fact that I was having all kinds of stress dreams, but there was one in particular that really stuck with me.

I dreamed that pants pockets had been outlawed so everybody had to store their valuables in their belly buttons. So day after day I had my wallet, keys and cell phone in my belly button. It actually work much better than pockets ever did. It was quite comfortable. I thought that this is what it must be like to be a kangaroo. It was cool. So from then on it was belly button storage for all!

The only real drawback from this new process was that my cell phone smelled horrible whenever I used it. So I missed a lot of calls. Then I woke up. What a nightmare!

Well, the next time I can't find my keys, phone, or wallet I know where to look.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- The Drunk Driver --*
There was an inebriated driver who was pulled up by the police. When the cop opened the door, the driver fell out.

"YOU'RE DRUNK!" exclaimed the police officer.

"Thank God for that!" said the drunk, "I thought the steering had gone."


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What do you call a guy who never farts in public?

A: A private tutor.


Q: Why were all the ink spots crying?

A: Their father was in the pen.


*-- Readers Comments --*
A friends aunt from Hong Kong came to the US for a visit their last name was Wing... the aunts name was Mai (pronounced "My") -Julie

Phil McCracken? Isn't he Ben Dover's a**hole buddy? -Damon
[And he's a Rear admiral.]

There's a police officer here in my town named "Willy Munch". I swear that's for real. Please don't print my name, he's a very nice guy, but I sure don't want a cop mad at me!
[Is his partner Willy Crunch?]

***
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