THE DAILY GROANER - March 16, 2015

Good Morning Groanies,

When was someone going to tell me about this Daylight Savings Time? I've been an hour behind for about a week. So that means I've now lost like 7 hours or something. That's like losing a whole night of sleep! What the hell?

But that's not the worst of it! Not only did I not know that Daylight Savings Time began last weekend, but it's also 2015! When did this happen! Where did the time go?

I was wondering why my parachute pants were such a target of ridicule at the office. I guess I've got to pay more attention.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- I Got A Bite! --*
Fred and his wife went fishing in Alaska. In the middle of nowhere where the place is filled with nothing but white snow, they finally found a lake so they cast their lines.

After an hour or two Fred's wife yelled, "Honey come quick! I got a bite!" So Fred rushed to his wife only to find out her line is lying flat and wasn't showing any movement.

He said, "Your line's not moving, no one is biting."

"I got a bite," she insist.

"Where?", ask Fred.

"My foot. I got a frost bite."


*-- A Close Shave --*
A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.

"I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum."

The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech.

"And what if I swallow it?"

"No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Which knight spreads malicious rumors?

A: Sir Lander.


Q: Which knight always drools?

A: Sir Lyver.

(Both jokes courtesy of reader Buck)

***
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