THE DAILY GROANER - December 1, 2014

Good Morning Groanies,

Today is my birthday. Don't worry, I'll be sure to let you know where you can send the gifts and cash. It's the least you could do.

All kidding aside, getting older is not as fun as advertised. Yes, you get discounts on meals, you get to wax fantastic about the "old day", and you get to cruise around the Grand Canyon on one of those motorized scooters (according to the commercial), but then there's the downside.

Who am I kidding? All of that stuff sounds bitchin' to me! Bring on the Early Bird Specials, the bingo, and the bus trips to the Hoover Dam. The older I get the more fun I'm gonna have. Age is just a number. It doesn't mean much except to the government and the Nielsen ratings system. And what have they done for us lately?

So load my cake up with candles and let's set off the smoke detector! Oh, I feel a nap coming on. Now, if you'd excuse me.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- If It's Not Too Much Trouble... --*
A young man was walking past a blind woman using a cane on a street corner downtown, when she said, "Excuse me, but if it's not too much trouble, can you see me across the street?"

Our guy replied, "Just a minute."

He walked across the street, looked back and yelled, "Yes, I can see you!"


*-- What's Wrong With Me? --*
A guy goes into the doctor's office. There is a banana stuck in one of his ears, a carrot stuck in one nostril and a cucumber in the other ear.

The man says, "Doc, this is terrible. What's wrong with me?"

The doctor says, "Well, first of all, you're not eating right."


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Why don't astronauts relate well to other people?

A: They're not always down-to-earth.


Q: What kind of bird can write?

A: A PENguin.

***
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