THE DAILY GROANER - March 31, 2014

Good Morning Groanies,

My brother told me that he is currently searching for a new job. He asked me about, when creating a resume or filling out an application, what he should put down under "special skills". I drew a complete blank. But then when I thought back to my post-college days when I was on the job hunt...

Whenever I saw "special skills" on a job application I would always put down that if I strip down naked I will be able to count to 21.

I always hoped that the interviewer would never bring it up during the interview because I'm not a bragger, however it does come in handy every now and again, especially when I'm trying to calculate the tip at a restaurant.

I can also bark like a dog in Portuguese. I don't get to use that as often as you'd think. Oh, and I can arm-pit fart the theme song to "The Love Boat".

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- A Wife So Jealous --*
There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one night and she couldn't find hairs on his jackets she yelled at him, "Great, so now you're cheating on me with a bald woman!"

The next night, when she didn't smell any perfume, she yelled again by saying, "She's not only bald, but she's too cheap to buy any perfume!"


*-- Great News For You --*
The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we're going to be three in this house instead of two."

Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes.

He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, "I'm glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us."


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What color is a burp?

A: Burple!


Q: What's a scarecrow's favorite fruit?

A: Strawberries!

***
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