THE DAILY GROANER - September 24, 2014

Good Morning Groanies,

We are all critics! We love to criticize the things that we think are wrong and the people we think are wrong. But there are times when we are the ones that are wrong, right?

Over the weekend, Jack, Stacy, and I were heading home from a fun-filled morning of apple picking at a local orchard when we found ourselves at a stoplight waiting to turn right.

A few feet away from the stoplight was a sign that read, "No Turn On Red". I'm a firm believer in the rules of the road so I followed what the sign said. The huge truck behind us and the two whores riding in it didn't feel the same. We knew they were displease thanks to the excruciatingly long horn honks that lasted until the light had indeed changed to green.

These classy ladies flipped us the bird as they sped away at top speed to the next red light and waited for their turn to make a left.

Apparently, we were all headed in the same direction so we waited behind these punks, but did it calmly. Then, as soon as the green arrow appeared I slammed on my honk like I was trying to win on Family Feud and laughed while doing so.

The ladies didn't appreciate my humorous tactics and again flipped us the bird - those redundant asses!

So I think that the moral of the story is that people are stupid, rude, and selfish to a level that sickens me to think that there are people on the road that would prefer you endanger your vehicle and its passengers so that they may get to their desired destination quicker and get the instant gratification that they require to keep on breathing our air, using our resources, and taking up space on this planet that I would much rather see a steamy dog turd residing. They had a nice truck though.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Mother's Little Helper --*
The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly."

On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, "Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?"

"Yes," the boy's mother answered.

"And how is your son now?" the psychiatrist asked.

"Who cares?" the mother replied.


*-- At the Dairy Bar --*
Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, who was a tub of cottage cheese, says to them, "We don't serve your kind in here."

One of the yogurt cartons says back to him, "Why not? We're cultured individuals."


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Why do elephants have trunks?

A: Because they would look silly with glove compartments.


Q: What is smarter than a talking bird?

A: A spelling bee!


Q: What do you get when you cross a dog with a phone?

A: A golden receiver!

***
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