THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, May 30th 2011

Good Morning Groanies,

Yesterday was a very special day because it was our anniversary. Not yours and mine, because I don't have a clue as to the length of time that you've been reading my column. What I meant was it was my wedding anniversary! Stacy and I have been married for two years.

Wow, two years. It doesn't seem like two years. It doesn't really seem like any particular length of time has passed at all. It feels almost...timeless. That's the only way that I can think to describe it. When I'm with her things just feel timeless. I guess we're just having too much fun enjoying ourselves to notice the time.

We're timeless...and we're enjoying every minute of it.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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+-- I Got Two Orders --+
The salesman reported back to his boss after several weeks on the road and said, "All I got was two orders."

"What were they? Anything good?"

"Nope," the salesman replied. "They were 'Get out!' and 'Stay out!'"

+-- Are There Any Gators? --+
While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "Are there any gators around here?!"

"Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!"

"Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore.

About halfway there he asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the gators?"

"We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said. "The sharks got 'em."

+-- Q and A Quickies --+
Q: Did you hear about the psychic midget who escaped from jail?

A: He became a Small Medium At Large.


Q: What do you get when you anesthetize a rabbit?

A: The ether bunny.

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