THE DAILY GROANER - February 24, 2016

Good Morning Groanies,

We're moving on up!...hopefully to a bigger house. Stacy and I have put our house on the market in the hopes of upgrading to a larger domicile that will be able to accommodate us, our children and all of our crap.

We've been in our current home for almost 8 years and in that time we've accumulated a ton of crap, junk and stuff. Most of it is good stuff, but a large portion is the aforementioned junk and crap. You know, things like dozens of socks with holes in 'em, a margarita mixer that looks like Buddha, and several wigs worn by Gil Shatner, William Shatner's cousin. Hey, I was drinking while on eBay.

We got to move just we can steer clear of the junk and crap. But I'm sure, even in our future abode, there will come a day when we'll open up a closet, crawlspace or attic and say, "Ah, crap! Look at all this junk!"

Wish us luck!

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- This Is A Disaster --*
A husband & wife had a human cannonball act in the circus.

One day the wife ran off with the lion tamer. The husband was extremely dejected.

The strong man asked him what he was going to do.

"This is a disaster," the husband answered, I don't know where I'm going to find another woman of her caliber."


*-- Dreaming of Cars --*
A man went into his shrink's office and says, "Doc, you have got to help me! Every night I keep dreaming that I'm a sports car. The other night I dreamt I was a Trans Am.

Another night I dreamt I was an Alpha Romeo. Last night I dreamt I was a Porsche. What does this mean?"

"Relax," says the shrink, "You're just having an auto-body experience."


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Why do cows wear bells?

A: Because their horns don't work.


Q: What kind of dinosaur is never late?

A: A pronto-saurus.

***
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