THE DAILY GROANER - Wednesday, Sept. 26th 2012

Good Morning Groanies,

Now that Jack has become very aware of Stacy and me, we have decided that we need to tone down our potty mouths. This kid is growing up so fast that by this time next week he'll be talking with the vocabulary of a drunken sailor. That might seem hilarious or cute to some, but we know better.

So after a week of this "vocab rehab" we've struggled a bit, but we're making good progress. It's not something one can do cold turkey, but we've come up with a great system to help us. Whenever we feel the need to swear we just replace the dirty word with the word - Mango.

So from time to time Jack will hear mom or dad saying things like... You're Full of Mango, You Son of a Mango, and Go Mango Yourself!

Hopefully, we can eliminate these curse words during our child's development. If not, then I'm sure the day will come when Jack tells me: "Daddy, Mommy said that you're a Mango-Head."

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Mother's Little Helper --*
The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly."

On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, "Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?"

"Yes," the boy's mother answered.

"And how is your son now?" the psychiatrist asked.

"Who cares?" the mother replied.


*-- Relatives of Yours? --*
A young couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the husband sarcastically asked, "Are they relatives of yours?"

"Yes," his wife replied. "I married into the family."


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What is smarter than a talking bird?

A: A spelling bee!


Q: What do you get when you cross a dog with a phone?

A: A golden receiver!

***
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