THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, July 18th 2011

Good Morning Groanies,

I feel terrible. My head hurts, my throat is sore and I think I'm running a fever. I think I may have a severe fever unless it's unusual for you to see Abe Lincoln make you pancakes while dressed up as Superman. That's normal, right?

Enjoy the issue. I'm going to lie down.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

Questions? Comments? Jokes? Email Steve

Now You Can Follow the Daily Groaner on Twitter: DailyGroaner

*-- Knock Knock... --*
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Owl!
Owl who?
Owl Aboard!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Emma!
Emma who?
Emma bit cold out here, can you let me in?

*-- Bathroom Troubles --*
Three old men are sitting on the porch of a retirement home. The first says, "Fellas, I got real problems. I'm seventy years old. Every morning at seven o'clock I get up and I try to urinate. All day long I try to urinate. They give me all kinds of medicine but nothing helps."

The second old man says, "You think you have problems. I'm eighty years old. Every morning at 8:00 I get up and try to move my bowels. I try all day long. They give me all kinds of stuff but nothing helps."

Finally the third old man speaks up, "Fellas: I'm ninety years old. Every morning at 7:00 sharp I urinate. Every morning at 8:00 I move my bowels. Every morning at 9:00 sharp I wake up."

*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Where would you look when purchasing felines via mail order?

A: In a Cat-a-log.

Q: What kind of school does a carpenter go to?

A: Boarding school.

- Missed an Issue? Visit the Daily Groaner Archives