THE DAILY GROANER - April 7, 2014

Good Morning Groanies,

Recently my wife and I were going through our clothes that hung in our shared closet. You know, spring cleaning. She asked me if I was ever going to wear most of the fashionable garments I have accrued over the years.

"Of course I will," I said with revelry.

She just shook her head in disbelief. So over the last week I've been wearing various button-downs, lost or forgotten t-shirts and a colorful array of treasured Hawaiian shirts. I tell you I was a symphony of style and coordination all week long.

To be perfectly honest I think that Stacy was really looking to get rid of my clothes in order to take over more of our bedroom closet. That's right, Mr. Fashion is on to you, sweetie!

To pull one over on me you have to get up pretty early in the morning. Around 5:29 to be exact.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- They've Stolen Everything! --*
A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car.

"They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator!" he cried out.

However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time with the same voice came over the line.

"Never mind," he said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by mistake."


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What is a baby's motto?

A: If at first you don't succeed cry cry again!


Q: What does a pickle say when he wants to play cards?

A: Dill me in!


*-- Reader Comments --*
I live in Florida and several years ago I was on the phone with a friend of mine. I told him that I had gone to the beach over the weekend. His reply was "The beach? Is that near the ocean?". OMG! We laughed and laughed once he realized what he had said! - Cori
[That sounds like something I'd say. Standing water confuses me.]


"The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals out there. Type in 'Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire' and the computer will say, 'Specify type of goat.'"
--Rich Jeni (Quote Courtesy of BBIX34)

***
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