THE DAILY GROANER - July 15, 2015

Good Morning Groanies,

It seems like quite hot this week so I got the ol' noodle going on a few ingenious ways to keep cool and avoid all of the fun that comes with practically combusting... spontaneously.

1. Fill your bathtub up with ice cubes and frost from the freezer, jump in, and play 'Defrosting Caveman.' (Make sure no one is using the bathroom at the time of play.)

2. Cover your naked body in ice cream sandwiches. (Simple, Delicious, and Sexy!)

3. Spend a little time in a meat locker and if anybody asks you what you're doing just ask them, "Where's the Beef?" then point at yourself. (Great for both keeping cool and getting a tasty bite.)

All good ideas, according to me. Just beat the heat and stay cool, Cats and Kittens.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Why was the blonde staring so hard at the orange juice carton?

A: Because it said "concentrate"!


Q: What does a houseboat become when it grows up?

A: A township.


*-- How Old Are You? --*
A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.

"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"

"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."

"That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?'

"Twenty-six," he said.


*-- More Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What do you call a cow spying on another cow?

A: A steak out.


Q: What does a cow say when she has a cold?

A: Aaaahhh...AAAAhhh....AAAAHHHHMMMMMOOOOO!

***
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