THE DAILY GROANER - May 18, 2015

Good Morning Groanies,

And now for something random...

Was there ever a time that you thought that you heard voices in your head... and then it turned out that you forgot that you were listening to a book on tape?

This happens to me at least twice a week.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Dated A Lot of Women --*
When I was in High School I had some interesting girl friends. My first girlfriend was a skinny girl named Anny Rexia, but she broke up with me and ended up marrying Bill Emia, but she kept her maiden name.

Then I dated Sal Manilla but I hated her cooking. She is now imprisoned at Tutwiller Woman's Correctional Facility for poisoning several people in Alabama.

Then I met a foreign Exchange student named Nymph O'Maynia. I didn't think I had a chance since she was dating the entire football team, but she said that she couldn't wait to fit me in. On our first date she took me to an all you can eat bed and breakfast. We were off and on for the entire school year, but she had to return to Ireland.

After dating her I spent the next six months dating Penny Sillan.

(Joke submitted by Allen L)


*-- Don't Mime Me --*
A young lady was a theater major applying for fall semester classes. At the end of the busy day she goes back to her dorm and enters in a huff of anger.

"What's wrong, Shelly?" Asks her roommate.

"Well, all the acting classes are filled. I couldn't even get into Mime class."

"Why not?"

"How should I know? You can't get a word out of those people!"


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What rock group has four men who don't sing?

A: Mount Rushmore.


Q: Why didn't the oyster share the profits from his pearl?

A: He was shellfish.

***
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