THE DAILY GROANER - July 29, 2015

Good Morning Groanies,

Why does it have to be so hot? I don't remember it ever being this hot last summer, do you? People that say that they'd rather be hot than cold are just plain nuts!

It's so hot that I'm starting to sweat when I'm inside buildings with air conditioning. It's so hot I sweat when I think about sweating. It's so hot my sweat sweats.

This heat is really starting to get to me. I'm feeling crabby, uncomfortable, tired, upset, uneasy, worrisome, angry, bewildered, befuddled, sticky, distracted, unicorn, beef, stapler, wedding ring, sloppy joe, hat trick, wing, butterscotch, biscuit, muffler, coffee, cheese-puppet, chalk-mask, mailbox, wizardry, bottlecap, nose-hair, Kenny Rogers, hickory, bacon, speed-bag, sandwich, webbing, puppy, bone, leg, Alf, tower, button...

What happened? This heat is really starting to get to me. The heat is on!!!

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What do you call a row of 50 rabbits walking backwards?

A: A receding hare line.


Q: Why should you always guard your rear while you're in the hospital?

A: You're in enema territory.


*-- A Blonde Wrecked A Car --*
As a blonde crawls out of her wrecked car, the local sheriff asks her what happened.

The blonde began, "It was the strangest thing! I looked up and saw a tree, so I swerved to the right. Then I saw another tree, so I swerved to left. Then there was another tree, and another and another..."

The sheriff thought for a minute and then said, "Ma'am... I don't know how to tell you this, but the only thing even resembling a tree on this road for thirty miles is your air freshener."


*-- More Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?

A: He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!


Q: How do you tease fruit?

A: Banananananananana!

***
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