Subscribe to THE DAILY GROANER
 
Subscribe to DEAL OF THE DAY
 


THE DAILY GROANER - September 28, 2016

Good Morning Groanies,


Can you believe that it's autumn already? (Oh, I used autumn instead of fall because I wanted to sound smart. Take that high school guidance counselor.)

The leaves are changing color. The sun is noticeably setting a little sooner than the day before. And, best of all, according to my wife, I'll have to start wearing pants when I take out the garbage at night. We will see.

Oh, there's nothing like it. I love the fall! Fall is the best, unless it's down the stairs. I'm much better now.

Groaningly yours,
Steve


P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Shut Up, Trouble and Manners --*

There once were these three guys: Shut Up, Trouble and Manners.

Trouble got lost so Shut Up and Manners went to the police station. Manners stayed in the car while Shut Up went in. He told the police officer what happened and he asked, "What's your name?"

"Shut Up."

"Where are your Manners?"

"Waiting in the car."

"Are you looking for Trouble?"

"Yes! How did you know?"



*-- How Many Licks Does It Take... --*

Someone saw a blonde eating a Tootsie Roll Pop and asked her, "So, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?"

Without a thought, the blonde replied, "Beats me, but it took almost the whole day just to lick through the wrapper."



*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: Why did the Pope cross the road?

A: He crosses everything.


Q: What's gray, has four legs and a trunk?

A: A mouse on vacation.

***

Missed an Issue? Visit the Daily Groaner Archives