THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, June 25th 2012

Good Morning Groanies,

We took Jack to the doctor for his 6 week check-up appointment the other day. Stacy and I learned a few interesting things about our boy.

1. He's just one ounce shy of 13 lbs.
2. He's half an inch away from being 2ft. long
3. He takes shots like a champ

He's a great kid, especially when he's asleep.

This visit also gave us the opportunity to meet with the newest physician in the practice. She was fantastic with Jack. I really liked her approach to pediatrics. She really cut through all of the pretentious BS that comes with dealing with babies, 1st-time parents and the concerns and questions that may arise. I dug this doctor.

She said, and I'm NOT paraphrasing here, that the when it comes to having a baby and being a parent, "The beginning sucks!" How refreshing is that?! I can't tell you the last time I heard a doctor be actually that honest. Wow! It really blew me away. Honesty - what a concept! She also used this one, "The next time he's acting like a maniac..." Hey, don't get me wrong, I love baby Jack, but it's tough as hell to know what a baby wants or needs when it doesn't concern eating, sleeping or diaper-filling.

At that point I was sold on this being Jack's doctor. Then she told us that she had boys of her own, they were big like Jack and they went through many of the same things that Jack was experiencing. And that sealed the deal. Thank you, doctor.

So now our screaming little poop monster has someone that understands him, what we are going through and knows, first-hand, the best ways to help all of us when medical issue may rear their ugly noggins.

Hey, it doesn't get better than that. What a relief.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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*-- To Tell the Truth --*
A lawyer was briefing his client, who was about to testify in his own defense.

"You must swear to tell the complete truth. Do you understand?"

The client replied that he did.

Then lawyer then asked, "Do you know what will happen if you don't tell the truth?"

The client looked back and said, "I imagine that our side will win."


*-- It's Getting Big, Doc --*
Patient: My stomach is getting awfully big, doctor.

Doctor: You should diet.

Patient: Really? What color?


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What time is it when a elephant sits on a fence?

A: Time to get a new fence!


Q: What do you find in a clean nose?

A: Fingerprints!

***
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