THE DAILY GROANER - Wednesday, Nov. 30th 2011

Good Morning Groanies,

Tomorrow is my birthday. That's right, tomorrow I'll be turning...a year old than the previous year. Once I figure my age out I'll be sure to write it down so that way I won't have to do math on my birthday, hopefully, for many years to come.

It's going to be a great day. After my time at the office, where I'll be called 'old' and 'crotchety' like clockwork, Stacy and I have an appointment with our baby doctor during which we shall listen to the heartbeat of our little one and requests for apple juice and animal crackers, because kids love that stuff.

Then we shall enjoy a nice dinner together, preferably at a classy establishment that offers amenities such as an arcade, a ball pit and laser tag.

Then after creating a scene and being physically removed from Mr. Cheese's establishment, mostly due to a bout of over-stimulation thanks to flashing lights and ice cream sundaes, we shall return home where I will open gifts and cards, and blow out the candles and making a special wish.

It's going to be quite a day. Plus, it's much more fun when you get to spend it with two of your favorite people.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

P.S. Are you on Facebook? If you are, check out the Deal of the Day fan page. You get exclusive offers and a new deal every day. It is easy to become a fan, just Click Here and hit the like button...

Email Steve: mailto:groaner@gophercentral.com

Now You Can Follow the Daily Groaner on Twitter:
http://twitter.com/DailyGroaner


*-- Cleaning House --*
Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff."

"We're short-handed, Smith," the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off."

"Thanks, boss," says Smith, "I knew I could count on you!"


*-- Good Food, Good Prices --*
Two guys were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place their order.

There was a big sign posted. "No bills larger than $20 will be accepted."

The woman in front of them, pointing to the sign, remarked, "Believe me, if I HAD a bill larger than $20, I wouldn't be eating here."


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: hat did the hamburger name his daughter?

A: Patty!


Q: How do you make a hotdog stand?

A: Steal its chair!

Missed an Issue? Visit the Daily Groaner Archives