THE DAILY GROANER - Wednesday, May 1st 2013

Good Morning Groanies,

Since I was a kid I've been known to talk in my sleep and the other night I was gabbing again... so I was told.

Stacy said she woke up and heard me making noises. She thought that I was talking to her. She asked me if I was okay, but I didn't answer. She asked again, this time a bit louder, "Are you okay?"

Then, out of the blue, I said, "I'm a fan of short sleeves and harmonicas. But you can keep pleated pants."

I don't know what I was dreaming about or thinking about, or even if I was dreaming or thinking, that would have caused me to say that, but at least I didn't say something like, "I like the way angora feels against my skin...", or "a baby offered me a cigarette...", or "the toaster owes me 12 bucks", and so on.

Hey, talk is cheap. And, right now, it's all I can afford.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- We're Puzzled --*
Three blondes have just finished a jigsaw-puzzle so they decide to celebrate by going out. They walk into a bar chanting, "61 days! 61 days!"

The bartender gets curious and walks over to them and asks, "Why are you chanting 61 days?"

One of the three answer, "Because the box said 3-to-6 years!"


*-- Life Isn't Worth Living --*
When Rod's wife ran away he got so depressed that his doctor sent him to see a psychiatrist. Rod told the psychiatrist his troubles and said, "Life isn't worth living."

"Don't be stupid, Rod," said the psychiatrist. "Let work be your salvation. I want you to totally submerge yourself in your work. Now, What do you do for a living?"

"I clean out septic tanks." Rod replied.


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What has eight legs and goes up and down?

A: A spider in an elevator!


Q: Why did the Sheriff use a ruler when he questioned the witness?

A: He wanted to get the story straight.

***
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