THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, August 22nd 2011

Good Morning Groanies,

I think two of the worst things ever are stupid people and stupid questions?

This realization hit me like gas pains on "chili-nite" after a visit to my foot doctor, or podiatrist (if you want to be an officious know-it-all).

The Daily Groaner is proud to present "The Doltish Receptionist", a one act play.

(Upon my arrival at the doc's I signed in at the receptionist's desk and that's when it started.)

Receptionist: Are you here to see the doctor?

Steve: Yes. Why else would I be signing in?

Receptionist: Oh, I don't know. Well, if you are here to see the doctor make sure that you sign in.

Steve: I just did. You saw me do it.

Receptionist: Okay. Do you have a health problem related to your feet or foot or both?

Steve: What? Are you serious?

Receptionist: When was your last appointment?

Steve: Two weeks ago. I had some ingrown nails permanently removed. He just wants to make sure everything is healing properly.

Receptionist: Ingrown toenails?

Steve: Yes. (At this point I have begun to look around for a camera and the other escaped crazy people.)

Receptionist: Good because the doctor is a doctor of feet.

Steve: Is there anyone else that I can talk to?

Receptionist: Oh. Has your insurance information changed since you were last in.

Steve: No. It's the same.

Receptionist: How about now?

Steve: How about now, what?

Receptionist: Has your insurance information changed at all?

Steve: Changed since when...since the last time I was in or since that time you asked me about it seconds ago?

Receptionist: (Then she takes the clipboard with the sign-in sheet away from me and then looks past me and yells out.) STEVE!

Can you believe that? I'm just glad that I wasn't there to see a brain surgeon because this whole exchange would have scared the crap out of me.

Oh, my feet are fine by-the-way, but they smell like hell.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

Jokes? Questions? Comments? Email Steve

Now You Can Follow the Daily Groaner on Twitter: DailyGroaner

*-- Good Fences Make Good Neighbors --*
Did you know that heaven and hell are actually right next to each other? They are separated by a big chain-link fence. Well, one day hell was having a big party and it got a little out of hand. God heard the ruckus and arrived to find his fence completely smashed by the wild partiers. He called the devil over and said "Look, Satan, you have to rebuild this fence." Satan agreed. The next day God noticed that the devil had completely rebuilt the fence...but it was 2 feet further into heaven than before.

"Satan!" beckoned God. "You have to take that fence down and put it back where it belongs!"

"Yeah? What if I don't?" replied the devil.

"I'll sue you if I have to," answered God.

"Sure," laughed Satan. "Where are you going to find a lawyer?"

*-- My Mistake --*
A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," she cried out.

However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. "Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake."

*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher?

A: He couldn't control his pupils!


Teacher: What family does the octopus belong to?

Student: Nobody I know!

Missed an Issue? Visit the Daily Groaner Archives