THE DAILY GROANER - December 15, 2014

Good Morning Groanies,

I know that Christmas is only ten days away, but I have to purge myself of a few things that have been bugging me while I'm doing holiday shopping. Okay, here we go...

1. When people have to ask how much something is in the 'Dollar Store'.

2. Mindless shoppers blatant disregard for human life and public/private property while looking for a "sweet" parking spot.

3. Shoppers having to tell other random shoppers about all of the people on their list and how much they have already purchased and how much more purchasing has to be done. (Just shut your face! We know all of those supposed people are actually cats.)

4. People who stand over your shoulder, mouth-breathing on you because they want to grab an item that you happen to be in front of, but instead of saying, "excuse me," they continue breathing like a bullmastiff and inching even closer hoping that you'll spontaneously understand their selfish needs and cater to their rude behavior. (Back off you creeps! They may have worked in prison, but it doesn't work on me.)

5. Shoppers that have to keep telling the unfortunate person shopping with them that they hope so-and-so likes the thingamajig that they bought them. (It's called a Gift Receipt you loser! RELAX!!!)

Oh, I feel so much better now. Well, I have a little more shopping to do, so if you'll excuse me.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

P.S. Have you done your last minute Christmas shopping yet? Monday morning (10 a.m.) is your last chance to order and still use Standard US Postal shipping to get your order before Christmas. After that we need to use FedEx in order to guarantee it. We have a ton of great products to help you finish off your shopping list. Go to www.PulseTV.com to check out some of our best sellers!

Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What do you call Santa when he goes down a chimney with a fire at the bottom?

A: Krisp Cringle.


Q: How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?

A: Nothing, it was on the house!


*-- Name 2 of Santa's Reindeer --*
The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"

The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"

The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."


*-- More Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What kind of bug hates Christmas?

A: A humbug.


Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

A: Frosted Flakes.

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