THE DAILY GROANER - October 20, 2014

Good Morning Groanies,

It was Stacy's birthday on Saturday. She had a great time celebrating with Jack and me. The cake, gifts, and cards really surprised her. We all had great fun!

I've known Stacy for almost ten years now. I still can't believe that. It seems like it was weeks ago that we went out on our first date. It seems like we were married just a week ago. Then Jack was born like four or five days ago. Time sure flies!

Every year it's an adventure. New memories, new challenges, but I wouldn't want to have them with anyone else. I love you.

Happy Birthday, My Love! And many more!

Now, for those of you that are not my wife, please enjoy the 46 new Halloween jokes and the reader comments and responses that are posted below.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What is a mummy's favorite kind of music?

A: Rap!


Q: Why don't mummies take vacations?

A: They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.


Q: What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?

A: Lots of blood tests!


Q: What does a wolf say on Halloween?

A: "Happy HOWLoween!"


Q: Why doesn't a witch wear a flat hat?

A: Because there's no point in it!


Q: What's a vampire's favorite part of the guitar?

A: The neck.


*-- Reader Comments --*
A song that I HATE is Tiny Tim's Tiptoe Through the Tulips. It is HORRENDOUS. Sincerely Francis
[Oh, come on! That's a toe-tapper.]

You asked for e mails about songs people don't like. I love Blinded by the light. I don't know every word they sing but I like the music. A couple of songs I don't like and will turn the station is to sir with love by Lulu. I just don't like anything about that song. I don't like Brandy by looking glass but I will listen to it if I have no choice. I don't like Saturday in the park by Chicago but I like their other songs. I have many more but those are some of them. I love your newsletter. Keep up the good work. --Melinda
[Brandy is a fine lady. What a good wife she would be. But my life, my lover, my lady is the sea. (dooda-dit-dooda), (dit-dooda-dit-dooda-dit)]

Dear Steve, Cannot stand John Cougar's, (John Cougar Mellenkamp or John Mellenkamp or whatever he is calling himself these days) song Jack and Diane. AWFUL! --Lisa J
[I never went to Mellencamp. I went to computer camp though.]

Peter Frampton just about all songs on his albums as solo, but Do you feel live noise is especially not Rock & Roll for me. --Travis
[That man is a national treasure!]

This one is bad enough to make leave the room/jump from a moving car... Breakfast At Tiffanys, 1996 by Deep Blue Something. It came out on radio the same year I got to married to my (ex) wife and that was one of the few things we agreed on. Love your newsletter, AL B
[BAT is a song that's so bad that after hearing it I began to hate Breakfast, being At places, and anyone named Tiffany.]

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