THE DAILY GROANER - Wednesday, Aug. 10th 2011

Good Morning Groanies,

I can't believe that the 'Summer 2011' is almost over. I did as much as I could to enjoy it. I had a barbecue. I cut my grass. I went swimming. I watched a few fireworks displays. I wore shorts and sunglasses. I even complained about just how hot and humid it was outside. There is only so much you can do during the summer. Ah, summertime.

Now, I shall prepare for the coming of Fall 2011. It's right around the corner. Alright, how do I do that?

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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*-- Gotta Light? --*
There are three guys in a boat with four cigarettes. They have no matches or anything and were trying to come up with a way to smoke their cigarettes.

"I got it!" said the one guy as he threw one of his cigarettes overboard.

"Why did you do that?" yelled his buddy.

To which he replied, "To make the boat a little lighter."

*-- Can You Dig It? --*
Little Donna was in the back yard filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence.

Interested in what the rosy-faced youngster was doing, he asked, "What are you doing there, Donna?"

"My goldfish died," replied little Donna tearfully without looking up, "and I've just buried him."

The neighbor laughed and said condescendingly, "That's a really big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

Little Donna patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your cat."

*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Why couldn't the pirate get to Davy Jones' Locker?

A: He didn't know Davy Jones' combination...


Q: What do you get when you cross a lobster with a baseball player?

A: A pinch hitter.


Q: How do you turn a stallion into a pig?

A: You marry him.

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