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THE DAILY GROANER - May 23, 2016

Good Morning Groanies,

Comments! Comments! Comments! You sent them and now I shall respond to them. Yes, your day has finally come!

I was speaking with a co-worker one day. I told him that I was going to the beach. He stated "The beach? Is that near the ocean?!" That is a classic line between us that we'll never forget! LOL --Cori
[Apparently, that guy needs to get out more.]

Dear Steve, Ok, to me this was funny...My friend and her husband filed bankruptcy a few years ago so it was still on their credit report. She couldn't understand why they couldn't get credit for something they wanted. She said, "Except for the bankruptcy, our credit wasn't that bad." --Lisa J
[Those two couldn't even get a movie credit. Oh, I'm sorry.]

Standing in the rain outside a grocery store one day, I said to a woman who was also waiting for the rain to lighten up, "It seems to always rain in weather like this." As I ran for my car, I heard her say to her husband, "You know he's right...", he simply told her, "Did you actually THINK about what he said???" --Buck
[Hey, thinking is not for everybody. Don't believe me? Just wait for the election returns!]

Weirdest thing I've heard: Got an E-Mail to purchase counterfeit money. --Anonymous
[How good a deal was it? Can you forward me that e-mail?]

Thank you for the comments. I really enjoy reading them and responding back. And again, I can't post anything dirty or vulgar. So cut it out, Grandma!

Groaningly yours,

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: How does the universe hold up its pants?

A: With an asteroid belt.

Q: Where should a baseball player never wear red?

A: In the bull pen.

*-- Two Orders --*

The salesman reported back to his boss after several weeks on the road and said, "All I got was two orders."

"What were they? Anything good?"

"Nope," the salesman replied. "They were 'Get out!' and 'Stay out!"

*-- Even Q and A Quickies --*

Q: Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund?

A: Someone told him to get a long little doggy.

Q: Why do mermaids wear seashells?

A: Because B-shells are too small and D-shells are too big.


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