THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, January 2nd 2012

Good Morning Groanies,

There are times when I think that my brain and my body are at war with one another - and I'm caught in the middle.

The other day my brain was telling me, "Hey, you're hungry. Why don't you treat yourself to some grub." My body didn't seem to keen on the idea of stuffing my face, my stomach wasn't even rumbling, but I listened to my brain and pigged-out!

About an hour or so later I had the worst stomach ache that I think I've ever had in my life. My brain is such a douche. He's always acting like he runs the place. What did my body ever do to him? Oh, maybe it was over that hat I used to wear that was way too small. Now things are starting to make sense.

Well, I'm glad that's been resolved... I hope... maybe... we'll see.

Oh, before I go, in Wednesday's edition of the Daily Groaner I shall reveal to you, the reader, the gender of my baby. Is it a boy? Is it a girl? I'll let you know this Wednesday! Until then...

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Where did the hamburger take his date?

A: To the meat ball!


Q: What do you say when you tickle a rich girl?

A: "Gucci Gucci Gucci!"


*-- More Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Why was Cinderella not good at football?

A: Because she had a pumpkin as a coach.


Q: Did you hear about the comedian owl?

A: He was a real hoot.


*-- Even More Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What did the dryer say to the washer?

A: Let's go for a spin!


Q: What's the first thing you know?

A: Ol' Jed's a millionaire.

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