THE DAILY GROANER - September 29, 2014

Good Morning Groanies,

I'm going to be brief today and say a "thank you" to all that sent in reader comments in the last week. And to all that didn't, but thought about it, thanks for thinking about it. And to all that didn't write me or send me extravagant gifts, shame on you, but I totally get it. Thank you much for reading and sending me feedback.

Enjoy today's jokes, and make sure to check out the reader comments below and my responses. I may not respond to them all, but I do read them all.

Don't hesitate when it comes to messages or massages. Either way they are appreciated.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What did the leftover turkey say after it was wrapped up?

A: Foiled again!


Q: What do you get if you don't clean your mirror?

A: A dirty look.


*-- Giving Us A Bad Name --*
Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.

The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"

To this, the other blonde replies, "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."


*-- More Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What animals are on legal documents?

A: Seals!


Q: What is it that even the most careful person overlooks?

A: Their nose!


*-- Reader Comments --*
Steve - Perhaps those 2 "ladies" weren't actually flipping you the bird but were letting you know that they considered you to be number 1. --R.S.R.
[If that was the case then there are quite a few people that believe me to be "number 1".]

Did you know that if an adult goes into a Chuck E Cheez without a kid the Adult is asked to leave? --Mark
[That's why Stacy and I had Jack. I got to win me some tickets!]

You talk about the prizes in boxers. Well try the Cracker Jack prizes. I can remember the good prizes you used to get in them. Army men or a big plastic ring or a cute plastic animal. But now all you get is a piece of paper with a tattoo or a sticky alphabet letter. What a rip off. Also I remember my mom buying a detergent box with a dish towel or a plastic coffee cup. Now those were the days. --Mary
[I can also remember once buying a bottle of tequila and finding a worm inside. GROSS!]

I suppose you could have dialled 9-1-1 and reported drunk women in a large truck and given location. AND when you came up behind them, gotten their license plate number. Just sayin'..... --Art
[Art, when you're not hanging up on a wall you can be a diabolical genius.]

Don't forget they breed, vote and most likely shop at Walmart --Bobfrrl
[Hey, I do all of those things!]

***
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