THE DAILY GROANER - July 16, 2014

Good Morning Groanies,

I feel terrible. My head hurts, my throat is sore, and I think I'm running a fever. I think I may have a severe fever unless it's unusual for you to see Abe Lincoln make you pancakes while dressed up as Superman. That's normal, right?

Enjoy the issue. I'm going to lie down.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- This Bull Can Pull --*
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy.

He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull." Buddy didn't move.

Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull." Buddy didn't respond.

Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Jennie, pull." Nothing.

Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull." And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.

The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.

The farmer said, "Oh, Buddy is blind, and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try!"


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What did the neurotic pig say to the farmer?

A: You take me for grunted.


Q: What do you get when two giraffes collide?

A: A giraffic jam.


*-- Reader Comments --*
When my son was young, we would call fish... swimming chicken. --Denise
[That's hilarious! When I was a kid I used to call lunch meat "flat meat".]

***
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