THE DAILY GROANER - November 11, 2015

Good Morning Groanies,

Okay, this is going to sound a little bit crazy, (but it is me so I'm sure that it won't be that unusual) but I believe that the tree in my front yard and the wind are conspiring against me. Let me explain.

Over the weekend I was doing quite a bit of yard work thanks to all of the fallen leaves that were taking up residence in front of my house. I raked and raked and raked and bagged and bagged and bagged. The leaves seemed like they were multiplying like rabbits the more I attempted to remove them from my yard. It was like I had twenty trees in my yard with all of these leaves. Eventually, I gave up, but I really did get rid of a good amount.

The next morning I went out to get the newspaper and I couldn't believe it - ALL of the leaves were back in the yard! Apparently, there were some strong winds overnight and they had caused the packed-to-capacity lawn bags to fall over, open and allow these leafy vagrants to blow and lay around my yard once again.

I really think nature has it out for me. It's probably because of the tree branches I broke, ants I burned with magnifying glasses and all the pees I took in the woods as a kid.

I should let nature win one, but I already bought the chainsaw.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- When You're Broken Down --*
A car breaks down along the motorway one day, so the driver eases it over onto the shoulder of the motorway. He jumps out of the car, opens the trunk, and pulls out two men in trench coats.

The men stand behind the car, open up their coats and start exposing themselves to the oncoming traffic. One of the worst pile-ups in history occurs.

When questioned by police why he put two deviates along the side of the road, the man replied, "I broke down and was just using my emergency flashers!"


*-- Pull Over! --*
The Policeman couldn't believe his eyes as he saw the woman drive past him, busily knitting. Quickly he pulled along the vehicle, wound down his window and shouted, "Pull over!"

"No," she replied, "they're socks!"


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What's black and white and makes a lot of noise?

A: A zebra with a drumkit.


Q: What did the ocean say to the shore?

A: Nothing, it just waved.

***
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