THE DAILY GROANER - August 26, 2015

Good Morning Groanies,

Last night was garbage night. I spent the better part of the evening dragging various containers of trash down to the curb.

I noticed that truck after truck stopped by to see what we were getting rid of. We parted with a bird feeder, an old mop, a box of popsicle sticks and other containers of miscellaneous junk.

The frequent visits from the "Lost Treasure Collectors" has gotten a little too frequent. I'm on a first name basis with three of the guys. Also, they ask if we're throwing out specific items... like metal pipes, expired medicine, leisure suits, buns-of-steel tapes... the list goes on.

If they knew me at all they'd know that I'd never part with my buns-of-steel workout tapes. For my money they work.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What's the difference between the government and the Mafia?

A: One of them is organized.


Q: What's stranger than seeing a catfish?

A: Seeing a goldfish bowl.


*-- The Guy in Paris --*
Did you hear about the guy in Paris who almost got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre?

After planning the crime, getting in and out past security, he was captured only two blocks away when his Econoline ran out of gas.

When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied: "Monsieur, I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."


*-- More Q and A Quickies --*
Q. If there were 4 potatoes in a room, which one would be the prostitute?

A. The one that's labeled "IDAHO"!


Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

A: An offer you can't understand.

***
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