Powered By
THE DAILY GROANER - October 3, 2016

Good Morning Groanies,

The other day I stopped at one of those discount grocery stores to pick up a few snacks to keep in my desk at the office. As usual I grabbed a box of granola bars and a Fruit By the Foot-esque snack called Fruit Strips.

I always found it amusing how stores will essentially have the same food products (similar in looks and taste) but for legal reasons, I guess, they have to change the name. It's goofy.

It's almost as if these name-brands are ashamed to be seen in these places. Hey, if I can buy a box of Frosted Flakes for $2 cheaper at discount grocery store, well then the jokes on you whoever makes that delicious breakfast cereal, I'm going cheap and enjoying the deliciousness.

Anywho, the product name changes are often silly or unnecessary, especially when it comes to cereals. I now have for you the Top 5 Best Alternative Cereal Names (that were created to avoid legal action, I'm assuming).

1. Rhino Puffs (Corn Pops)
2. Fruit Nuggets (Fruity Pebbles)
3. Breakfast Letters (Alpha-Bits)
4. Apple Cinnamon Roundies (Apple Jacks)
5. Choco Balls (Cocoa Puffs)

And a bonus, random cereal name - Huggie Bears (Not Associated with Starsky and Hutch).

They are all creative, all delicious, and all sitting in my pantry just waiting to be eaten by me. I am stocked up for the winter!

Groaningly yours,

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- He Did Him A Favor --*

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

*-- Money, Honey --*

A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, "If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money I wouldn't be here."

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: How do you scare a man?

A: Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.

Q: Why is the book "Women Who Love Too Much" a disappointment for many men?

A: No phone numbers.


Missed an Issue? Visit the Daily Groaner Archives

Top Viewed Issues