THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, January 21st 2013

Good Morning Groanies,

As winter rolls along that uncomfortable feeling of cabin fever begins to set in. The need to get out of the house becomes very important once your 8-month-old is crawling around faster than a turtle with an Acme Rocket tied to its shell.

So I took Jack to the mall for a change in the sights, smells, and sounds. What a mistake that was.

The mall is nothing more than an area for herds of mindless, booger-eating mutants to shuffle around in search of over-priced crap that Goodwill wouldn't even take off your hands. It's a place to parade your name-brand clothes, unique hairstyle, and your hip, happening attitude, all the while Facebooking and Tweetering to let the other nitwits know that the new duds you picked up are "sick" and that $20 White Chocolate Mocha Frappuccino is "radballs". (I guess the kids say "radballs" now.)

So I apologized to my son for this excursion and then we sat in front of Victoria's Secret as we enjoyed snacking on Baby Mum-Mums and all was forgiven.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- The Worst Book Ever! --*
A blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, "I have a complaint!"

"Yes, Ma'am?" said the librarian looking up at her.

"I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!"

Puzzled by her complain the librarian asked, "What was wrong with it?"

"It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever!" said the blonde.

The librarian nodded and said, "Ahhh. So you must be the person who took our phone book."


*-- How Serious Is It? --*
A distraught patient phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true", the woman wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so." The doctor told her.

There was a moment of silence before the woman continued, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious my condition is. This prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS!'"


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

A: Snowflakes!


Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

A: It was feeling crummy!

***
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