THE DAILY GROANER - August 31, 2015

Good Morning Groanies,

I can't believe it! Jack is starting pre-school tomorrow. I've only know the boy for three years, but it seems like I've known him his whole life.

I'm excited for him. I hope he finds pre-school to be fun and interesting; and as a gateway into a bigger world. All of the discoveries that he'll make along the way will hopefully amaze, astound, and activate his mind. He's already smarter than me so I think it would be in my best interest to dust off that Encyclopedia Britannica set.

Jack told me that he's going to prairie school, not pre-school. I tried explaining it to him, but he wasn't very receptive. So prairie school it is! I just hope his oxen don't get sick or that bandits don't ruin snack-time. Hey, it's been known to happen.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Blonde and the Beauty Parlor --*
A blonde goes into the beauty and hair parlor with her walkman on her head.

"I need to take that walkman off your head," says the beauty specialist as she notices the blonde.

"You can't! I'll die!" retorts the blonde.

"I can't cut your hair with the walkman on your ears!" says the beauty specialist getting annoyed.

"I said you can't take it off, or I'll die!"

The beauty specialist, outraged and flustered, grabs the walkman and throws it off the head of the blonde. Within seconds, the blonde dies. When the specialist picks up the walkman to listen, she hears it repeating "breath in, breath out, breath in."


*-- She's On The Line --*
Texas makes me think of the old slogan "Remember the Alamo." It seems that during that battle, the guy in charge of the whole thing put his wife, of all people, on the battle line. She was shot by the enemy, shattered her patella, and had to be removed from the front line.

After the fighting was over, she divorced her husband, and sued for Alamo knee.


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What does a blonde owl say?

A: What, what?


Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?

A: Spot.

***
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