THE DAILY GROANER - December 28, 2015

Good Morning Groanies,

I have to admit a few things. Okay, here it goes...

Sometimes, in a moment of desperation, I use the microwave to dry some of my laundry. Usually socks and underwear. Especially the underwear. Toasty.

I put shoes in my neighbor's mailbox and when he opens it up I yell at him, "Now it's a shoe-box!" He really wants to move.

Oh, I take a single penny to the bank and ask the teller to break it and when the teller says that it's not possible I say, "That's the last time I listen to him. I knew that penny didn't make any cents."

I feel so much better now. Thanks for listening. Now I'm off to... probably do some stuff that I'll confess about next year.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- I'll Get Too Tired --*
The baby pigeon said, "I can't make it; I'll get too tired."

His mother said, "Don't worry; I'll tie a piece of string to one of your legs and the other end to mine."

The baby started to cry.

"What's wrong?" said the mother.

"I don't want to be pigeon towed!"


*-- Don't Mime Me --*
A young lady was a theater major applying for fall semester classes. At the end of the busy day she goes back to her dorm and enters in a huff of anger.

"What's wrong, Shelly?" Asks her roommate.

"Well, all the acting classes are filled. I couldn't even get into Mime class."

"Why not?"

"How should I know? You can't get a word out of those people!"


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What rock group has four men who don't sing?

A: Mount Rushmore.


Q: Why didn't the oyster share the profits from his pearl?

A: He was shellfish.

***
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