Subscribe to THE DAILY GROANER
 
Subscribe to DEAL OF THE DAY
 


fiogf49gjkf0d
THE DAILY GROANER - January 27, 2014

Good Morning Groanies,


The other day I was at the pharmacy. (I was actually going to write "drug store" instead of "pharmacy". And if I would have I then would have referred to the pharmacist as the druggist. I'm 30, but I talk and write like it's 1930.)

So, I was at the pharmacy awaiting the refilling of a prescription when I noticed a mother and her 5-year-old son. They were stopped in front of that carousel of reading glasses near the counter. The little boy asked his mother what kind of glasses were on the display. She told him that they were reading glasses. And then the little boy asked, "Oh, so you put them on and then you can read?" And then he put a pair on his face.

In my head I said, "What's wrong with that kid? Reading glasses don't help you to read, they help you to see. You learn to read first, then, as you get older, you may need to get reading glasses to help you to see small type and then be able to read it, much like when you were young and had better vision. This kid doesn't know what the hell he's talking about."

Then I realized what a stupendous ass I was in thinking what I thought about what this tot was talking about... or aboot, if you're from Canada.

I feel horrible that I made such a blatant snap judgment like that. I know deep down that that wasn't what he meant. Sorry, little guy. It was a simple misunderstanding.

Then he asked his mother if anti-itch cremes can only be used by aunts or could uncles use them too. Then I really lost it.

Groaningly yours,
Steve


P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What do you call a sleeping cow?

A: A bulldozer.


Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?

A: Robin, get in the car.


*-- More Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What did the digital watch say to his mom?

A: "Look mom no hands."


Q: How does the gingerbread man make his bed?

A: With cookie sheets.


*-- Even More Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What do you have if you have 100 rabbits in a row and 99 step back?

A: A receding hare line!


Q: What do you get when you cross a snake and a kangaroo?

A: A jump rope!

***

Missed an Issue? Visit the Daily Groaner Archives